Crazy Ponderings

Faith is an intersting phenomenon. I always think I have plenty of it, and then all of a sudden I'm tested and I feel like I have none. I guess it's easy to sit back and say I have faith when things are going well, and it's just as easy to overlook it or forget to rely on it when things get tough.

Things aren't bad right now. We just have a lot of big things both professionally and personally that could potentially happen and all of them make me nervous and hopeful and excited all at the same time. The uncertainy and wonder about whether or not they will happen and when makes me a bit of a loon. That's what I mean about faith. If I truly had faith wouldn't I not care? That probably doesn't make a bit of sense. But total trust should eliminate the stress, right? Angela says I'm human and can't expect not to experience emotion. I just think I get excited about things and that makes patience take a flying leap. Ultimately I know things will work out for the best. But how I get from point A (here) to point B (the best) seems to be a total crap shoot at times.

I'd love to spell it all out, but I don't want blog to equal jinx. Hmm...if something is meant to be is it impossible to jinx it? Doesn't fate happen regardless?

I tend to think there may be a grand plan for each of us, which we move toward at our own pace. And we make choices that can send us on a detour. We may still get to our destination or what is planned for us, but rather than take the smoothest route we might make a decision that sends us on a wild goose chase and then through a desert or something and the next thing we know it's two years later and we're still wandering aimlessly. With a good tan though. Who am I kidding, I still wouldn't tan.

Maybe I just spend too much time thinking about things.

Patty Griffin is the most talented person who ever lived

We had planned to go to the Main Street Arts Festival in Fort Worth on Saturday anyway, but that morning I looked up the lineup and saw that Patty Griffin would be playing that day. Score! How could I have missed this tour stop?! I look up her schedule every so often so I can stalk her if she gets close, but somehow this date slipped past me. The Main Street Arts Festival was fun, and we thoroughly enjoyed meandering past the artisan booths with thousands of other people like we were all a big herd of cattle, but Patty was definitely the icing on the funnel cake.

This cell phone reproduction isn't the greatest, but at least it was able to capture her sassy red hair and angelic glow. And you can kind of make out her fivehead. The fact that she and I have a large forehead in common makes me love her even more.

I first learned about Patty Griffin when we lived in Austin. Living with Ghosts was the only CD she had out and it seemed like Austin was the only city in the world that knew about her. I saw her one time in a tiny club on the UT campus that only seated a few hundred people and it was so intimate and electric it's still my favorite Patty Griffin performance ever. I love her so. She's the only artist who conjers up nervousness in me before she goes on, and the only one that can get me to sacrifice two or three hours to camp out for good seats by the stage. She gives me warm fuzzies inside.

I'm not a concert heckler, but my love for Patty made me scream for "Tony" several times. She never played that one, but she did play "Mary" and if she had to play only one first-name song that was a good choice. She did a bunch of new songs too and if they're any indication of what the new album is going to sound like it's going to make my third rib from the bottom tingle just like Josh Groban's "Closer." Mmm mmm good.

Kidd just said Kelly Clarkson was at the show! I didn't see her. Too focused on Patty I guess. Oh she was awesome.

Neighbor Love

I met a neighbor yesterday. But not through a method from the good ole days when people used to walk to a neighbors house and take a casserole, or shout a hello over the fence. This was a total new millenium meeting.

I got a random email from a guy asking why I wasn't on Kidd's show anymore, and after we went back and forth a couple of times he finally told me he was my neighbor. Not just on the same street, but directly behind our house. This was the fence-sharin' neighbor that we drive insane with our pack of snortin' dogs! I knew I recognized his name. Everytime I right click on the laptop at home and "view wireless networks" his name pops up as a wireless network within range. We ended up trading emails for a couple of hours yesterday so he could help me make sure my wireless network was secure. Friendly neighbors rock! He lives thirty feet away and I had to get online to meet him, but I feel like I made a new friend.

Here's the strange thing. A couple of years ago after Angela and I came home from a night out (it was midnight or 1 am) we let the dogs out and hung out in the backyard for awhile, and this neighbor happened to be outside at the same time. It sounded like he was talking to a buddy of his and we overheard him say, "Well, the lesbians are home." Hmm. We didn't know what to make of that label slap. I mean, he could just as easily have said, "Well the nice people are home." As long as he knows the labels are interchangeable and he just happened to pick the first instead of the second I guess it's okay. But it's hard to forget something like that.

Yesterday during our email dialogue he mentioned barbecuing with Angela and me sometime, so he doesn't have an issue with us. That's good to know. Maybe I'll take him a casserole just to be sure. Regardless, we'll continue to toss wayward tennis balls back over the fence each time his son gets too playful with the dog, and we might toss a Shiner Light over the fence the next time we're chillin' out on the deck. If the friendly computer-helper is home that is.

Tired Treadmill

I can talk about this now that I've had a successful work out and no longer suffer from that haven't-worked-out-feeling that pains me so.

Yesterday I started up the treadmill and began picking up speed, then it stopped mid-stride. It's a good thing I hadn't reached full acceleration or the abrupt stop could have sent me flying out into the hallway and into the closet. Oh the horrors of the closet! But rather than launch me off, the belt just kept stopping and wouldn't let me continue. At least the launch would have burned a few calories. Fiddle dee dee.

The treadmill hotline said it sounded like my belt needed to be tightened. Them's fightin' words! But I decided not to take it personally. I made Angela get out the allen wrenches and tighten up the treadmill because I'm not handy, and it worked. No more untimely belt stoppage. Smooth sailin' for 46 minutes today. It would have been 45, but Oprah hadn't gone to commercial yet. I'm happy!

Scarborough Faire fun

Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie is a hoot! We go every year and always come home with loads of crap. Not swords and 16th century corsets, but stuff that we'll actually use like the King's Nuts. We especially love the pecans. We bought a pound of pecans and a pound of almonds, all lovingly coated in a cinnamon and sugar mixture so creamy they almost melt in your mouth. Mmm mmm good.

We bought Raspberry Chipotle salsa too, which might be what we're looking at in this picture. Could be pickled garlic, who knows. Whatever it was it was tastey and I'm sure it's in our pantry now. Thanks to Nicole for capturing these moments on film. The "free kitten" sign was attached to a pole in the middle of a pottery shop if I remember correctly. Interesting and random.

Notice that we're not wearing renaissance dresses. That would have taken years of therapy to overcome, so we opted for shorts and polos instead. We did see lots of women in corsets and dresses so tight that various protrusions had no choice but to spill out over the top, and it made us love Old Navy even more. I for one am grateful for the roominess of cotton and the unobstrusiveness of a flat chest. No desire to make any part of my body jiggle or bounce on purpose. Also lots of women there in belly dancer attire whose bellies might have been more at ease in something that's able to cover more square footage; like fleece.

Can't wait to work out today. And snack on the King's Nuts!

Silly Easter bunnies

The Ex-Gay Factor, Dallas Voice

My article ran in the Dallas Voice today. Click on the blog title for the link if you're interested.

The label "Intrepid Christian" sort of cracks me up. My editor came up with that one. I'm just tryin' to live openly and truthfully, but call me what you will. :-)

Here's an excerpt from one of the emails I've received so far:

...I sat appalled, fascinated, as I read the piece. The saddest part...guys like Brady and John wind up cruising public parks and rest areas to get their jollies, forced back into the darkest depths of the closet.

I cannot believe you actually subjected to that type of --well, crap--to write your piece for the Voice. Thank you, I'm glad someone did!

Crap or not, it was a great learning experience!

My entire life is one big edit.

At last, it looks like the Dallas Voice article I did on the ex-gay conference will run on Friday. I think I did four complete revisions and then my editor tweaked it a little more this week, but it's finally press worthy.

I've learned so much during this process. Newspaper articles are different than books and blogs, and since I'm new to writing them it has taken me awhile to refine and develop my perspective. And the audience is different. I usually write for people who have faith and sexuality issues, but the Voice readers are well-adjusted and comfortable for the most part. It took awhile to switch gears. The editor has been awesome. A tough critic who is unwilling to put up with any of my fluff, but extremely helpful and able to give solid direction. He's great at making me simplify. You'd think simplifying would be simple, but it's not.

Overall, freelancing for the Voice has helped me become more critical of the things I write and the way I write them, and that will make me a better writer in the long run. So rock on with the revisin'.

The article has taken several turns during the process, but I hope the finished product ends up at the destination we were aiming for. It might ruffle some feathers along the way, but that's a good thing. I'll post a link on Friday.

A weekend of kiddos

Saturday was a great day. I worked 18 hours on Friday because of Kiss Party and didn't have much time to spend with my sister and the girls, but we had almost the whole day on Saturday to bond.

Jada can say the J part of Jenny now, but she still calls me Nenny despite it. I don't mind a bit. She used to call Angela Ah-la-la, but she shortened that to Ah-la a few months ago and it stuck. Ciara doesn't care much for words yet, but she's getting to be just as animated as Jada and communicates in other ways. Cuties!

Jada was great at helping make monkey bread. "Jada" Delaurentiis in the making! And Ciara is just too dang cute.

Our nephew Gavin was here for the weekend too. A house full! But it was great. Good practice.

No vacancy at the Austin hotel

Houseguests galore! Angela's mom, our nephew Gavin, my sis, and our nieces Jada and Ciara! How did we get so lucky?

Angela's mom is driving to Austin today to pick up Gavin so Angela's sis and her husband can go on vacation, and she's babysitting Gavin at our house through Monday. He's 1 now. And lactose intolerant from what I hear so we'll have to take it easy on the cheese.

My sis Jodi got a wild hair and decided to take a road trip! She moved back to Nebraska with Jada and Ciara last July and we've only seen them once since; at Christmas. But she has 4 days off and decided to make a long weekend of it. She left in the middle of the night so the girls would be asleep and therefore easier to handle in the car, and they'll be here this afternoon. I can't wait! I might put on a sun bonnet and some polyester and sit on a lawn chair in the driveway while I wait, like a good aunt would.

Jada is almost 3 and Ciara is 1 now and they're both growing and changing like crazy. Ciara is only 2 weeks older than Gavin, so I plan to take notes on boy/girl differences at that age and then write a five page report summarizing my findings and submit it to Angela for review. What's that ticking sound? Hmm. Must just be in my head.

Four adults, four dogs, and three kids under the age of 3 in the house. Rock! Anyone wanna come over to party?

Stacey James and I are tight

Michael Blake is out this week so I've been running Kidd's show in the Kiss studio. That means I'm in tight quarters with the girl who has my old traffic job...Stacey James. That job stealer! Cat fight!

Kidding. She's a good girl and I have no problem turning over the reigns to her. It's not even weird watching her sit in my chair and read my old computer screen and say all of my old words and share the precious air time that Kidd and I used to lovingly share. Yes, all is well. I'm thrilled for her. But if I do happen to decide that I want to shut her up for any reason, I can just give her the wrap-up signal a tad prematurely. Oops. Sorry Stacey. Didn't mean to cut down on that interaction time!

This message has been paid for by the Jen Austin Moving On Campaign. This message has been approved by Stacey James because it's all in good fun. Now back to the hair-pullin'.

Tastey Nibbles

I got everything done for my other markets ahead of time, so I'm off work today. Yay! I'm not leaving the house.

I'm looking forward to several big events...Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch, a 45-50 minute date with the treadmill depending on how much energy the Grape Nuts provide, writing for book #2, and the Rangers opening day game with the Red Sox. I hope Kevin Millwood proves that he's worth all that money. Surely the Rangers can beat a Johnny Damon-less Red Sox team. Oh how I adore the Rangers. Oh, and I made some Ricotta Chive bread dough in the bread machine yesterday and finished baking it in the oven. It's tastey. Dipping that in some olive oil will be another big event later on.

The Rangers game Friday night in Frisco was loads of fun, but I ate so many chips at Gloria's before the game that I didn't have any room for pizza or a cheesesteak at the stadium. Actually, Angela's boss shoved her cheesesteak in my face at one point and wouldn't give up until I took a bite, so I did have a nibble. It was tastey. There were fireworks at the end of the game, but we didn't stay. I've never understood why it's fun and exciting to watch thousands of dollars explode in the air and I just can't get into big displays. Fireworks are cool when they're meant to enhance something else, like a Rangers home run. Then I love 'em and they make me scream! So my deep pondering for the day is, perhaps fireworks are best when they are frosting and not just the cake. Exploding cakes are uncalled for.

Busy day! I better get crackin'.