The L Word - Season 3, episode 8

Several posts ago I said something about this season of The L Word "sucking pond water through a bent straw," but after Sunday night's episode I would like to amend that statement.

Helena's scenes with Dylan have completely turned me around! To quote my good friend Anna, "Hot Day-Um!" No doubt! If I could whistle I would totally do it right here. It's a good thing I was in veg mode Sunday night and already lying down, or those scenes might have knocked me plum over. I could have lost an eye or something.

My memories of most of the other episodes so far this season have been fleeting (except for images of that cute little Angelica...she reminds me so much of my niece Jada that I just want to reach through the TV and squeeze her pudgy little cheeks), but this episode stayed with me and popped into my head several times yesterday. And not just Helena and Dylan... I thought the images of Dana were amazingly bold and powerful. Post-surgery, post-chemo, with that awful-looking scar and not one strand of hair on her head... Beautifully done I thought.

I just wish Bette and Tina could live happily ever after. I don't know what's so wrong with letting one healthy, committed couple be the nucleus that the rest of the show revolves around. A lack of dysfunction between Bette and Tina doesn't make them any less interesting, does it? Everyone has problems and nobody's perfect, but can't they just be in love and work through things together? Anytime those two are going in two different directions I feel like the nucleus of the show evaporates into thin air, and I don't feel as attached to it. Maybe that's just my own projection that stems from a need to have stability in my own life. Maybe it's okay for the nucleus of the show to shift as things happen--from Bette and Tina, to Dana, and maybe now to Max. I can deal, but I just like it better when Bette and Tina are getting the Helena/Dylan scenes!

Last season I found myself throwing stuff at the TV and every time a circus scene went off in Jenny's head, and now I'm throwing stuff at the TV every time the focus is on Kit and Angus. I just can't get into that storyline. But somehow this new connection between Helena and Dylan, and the power of the Dana storyline makes up for everything, and slaps a big gold star on the whole show. I've always liked Helena (even last season when she was a snot), but now I LOVE me some Helena. Bette is still my ultimate fav, but until Bette and Tina get happy I think I'm going to have to be all about Helena. She's very inspirin'...

Dog mischief

Last night we were upstairs playing pool and we noticed that only two of our four dogs were up there hanging out with us (the two male ones, cuz they're the most loyal), and when I called for the other two I heard nothing but silence. Marlee Bean loves to hang out in the bedroom downstairs even if we're all in another part of the house and never wants to join in the fun, so I didn't really worry about her. But if Sophie doesn't come when I call her, that means she's up to no good and needs to be confronted about whatever it is she's doing.

I went downstairs and found her with her head buried in the black leather bag that Angela carries to work, and there were various remants scattered across the floor of the laundry room. Angela keeps all sorts of accourtrements in this bag: cold and allergy medicine, gum, various things in ziploc bags, pens and paper, etc. None of these things should spend a lot of time in a dog's stomach, but at first glance it looked like nothing had been consumed. The laundry room did smell awfully minty though.

I yelled upstairs and asked Angela if she knew how much gum she had in her bag prior to Sophie's mischief and she yelled back, "Almost a whole pack." There was one piece left. Marlee Bean's breath was mint free, but the smell was concentrated on Sophie's mouth and whiskers. She didn't take the time to unwrap each piece and chew because there were no wrappers on the floor, so she must have just gulped them all at once. If I were a cusser I would insert a naughty word right here. We had to call Angela's vet tech brother-in-law to find out whether or not this ball of spearmint in her stomach would become a rock and possibly lead to her death and he had to call his boss to find out for sure, but when he called back he said it she should pass it in a day or two. Now we're waiting on that exciting event to happen.

We really need to get the kinks worked out if we're going to have real kids someday! Maybe we can put a playpen next to the pool table and pile all the dogs and kids in together so we can keep an eye on them. Yes, we got mad parenting skillz.

Lynn Hernandez rocks

I'm listening to my friend Lynn Hernandez online right now. He's on the air at KMOD in Tulsa, and he totally just gave me a shout out! I'm so excited! He said, "My friend Jen Austin is listening in Dallas, Texas right now. You too can listen anywhere in the world online at KMOD.com..." Eeeeee! It's fun being on this side of the radio!

I call him Lynnfer because when we worked together at radio stations in Austin and Dallas I fancied him and thought he needed the last half of my full name (Jennifer) to make it official. He calls me Jennypoo. I forget why.

I'm a dweeb.

Long distance love

I grew up in Nebraska, and moved to Austin in 1996. April 3rd of this year it will be 10 years since I flew the coop. A whole decade! Man time flies. But that doesn' t make me old because I left when I was eleven. Okay, maybe not quite that young, but I started kindergarten when I was 4 so everything in my life has been accelerated. I graduated from high school at 17, graduated from college at 21, and I left for Austin when I was still a pup. But ten years is a long time to be away from home. A lot can happen in a decade.

When Angela and I were in Nebraska this past Christmas, I had an incredibly hard time saying goodbye to everybody. Jada and Ciara (our nieces) have turned me into a complete pile of mush and I no longer have control over my own tears, sentimental thoughts, or hug and kiss reflexes. The control freak no longer has control. I had a tough time saying goodbye to those little tots, and then I saw that my grandma had tears welling up in her eyes too, and that made me a complete mess. She and I have always been close and I hated not knowing when I would see her again or what the circumstances would be. But even though she and I don't throw "I love yous" around all that freely, they came pouring out of us that night and I left carrying that sentiment with me.

She's my dad's mom and my parents built a house a half mile from hers when I was two, so I grew up under her influence. She's in her eighties now and her mind is still as sharp as a butcher's blade in the spoon drawer, but her little ole body isn't what it used to be. She's been in the hospital for the past couple of weeks with a bleeding ulcer and high blood pressure (not the greatest combination), and once she gets out of the hospital she'll have to go to the nursing home at least for awhile. Since so much time passes between our visits, I never know how things are going to be the next time I see her and it pains me.

My grandma is the witty soul who imparted great sayings like, "hotter than a hijacker's pistol," "I'd rather watch the paint peel," and "couldn't see for sour apples"...whatever that means. I told her at one point that she really should jot down all of her sayings in a journal so we would have them forever and ever, but that idea must have been "as dumb as a fencepost" because nothing ever came of it. Oh, she cracks me up. My grandma is a gem and I love her so. I hope she gets well soon.

I went to Target, and other nonsense

I love coupons. I love coupons like Will Ferrell loves Scotch in Anchorman. "I love coupons. Coupons, coupons, coupons..."

As much as I love saving money--even if it's fifty cents--I think I end up buying crap I don't need just because I have a coupon. Like today at Target, I bought double Tide, tampons, and Triscuits because my coupons said "$1 off two." So now we're stocked. I didn't have to buy toothpaste or toilet paper this time because we still have overflow from the last time I shopped. Angela laughs at my tendency to buy backups for everything, most notably coffee, fat free french vanilla creamer, and dog food, but I think it's a genius plan. All of the absolute essentials must have a backup, just so we can't be caught off guard and run out. This probably causes us to spend more money than necessary because once we get a little low on something I buy another backup, but knowing that backups are in our possession makes me feel better for some reason and I find it incredibly difficult to break the habit.

We're staying in tonight since it's going to be so dang cold. We're making tilapia and red new potatoes with leftover Valentine crab cakes. That's probably not how they would write it on a fancy menu, but I just can't bring myself to be fancy. I'm sure we'll light a fire too. Brrr! I may be slippin' and slidin' to work at 5am tomorrow. Hope you all have a nice warm weekend!

I love my soup mug

Angela and I have had some great talks the past couple of evenings, with all sorts of depth and intrigue. She is so much wiser than I am. I've said things to this effect before, but if my head is a blender with all sorts of foreign objects swirling about, her head is a soup mug, completely grounded and steady and capable of holding whatever you pour into it. I tend to stress about career-related things, goals, etc. and she has a really refreshing positive attitude that helps her maintain peace and joy no matter what the circumstances try to dictate. I try hard to be this way, but I fail a LOT and I need her example to remind me that the important things in life come from within. She's very inspirin'.

Last night for our Valentine celebration we made crab cakes, shrimp scampi, cheese sticks made from filo dough that we learned how to make by watching a Food Network marathon last weekend, and chocolate covered strawberries. It was deelish. And we opened a bottle of our much-cherished Lexington, Nebraska wine. There's more to Nebraska than cows and fields. There are also some strategically-planted grapes, and the results are amazing. Mac's Creek wine rocks.

Time to get on the treadmill. Have I mentioned that the TV in the work-out room is broken so if we want noise while we're on the treadmill we have to listen to CD's or the radio? Visual stimulation sure makes the time go faster. But Sarah MacLachlan works too. Plenty of deep thoughts for blender-heads.

Mature party animals?

We went to a party on Saturday night for Virginia, a military friend of ours might have to go to Iraq. We've gotten used to seeing her a few times a month for the past year or so, and it's strange to think that she might be a million miles away soon. She doesn't seem to be too upset about having to go, but then the military is all about toughness and she has probably learned to use that to squash her fears and reservations. There is a possibility that she could be held back for medical reasons, but if she has to go to Iraq we'll just pray for her speedy return. And for her spouse Kim's strength while she's away. You're welcome to accompany us to Mi Cocina anytime Kim! We'll take care of ya.

We had some fantastic conversations at this party. When I would go to parties in college and in my early twenties, we usually talked about relationship drama, jeans, and how to correctly imbibe a tequila shot, but now when we're at a party we sit around and analyze the dynamics that make a relationship successful and we talk about faith. I guess that's what happens when ya get old. Or maybe it means we've matured. We still managed to squeeze in a few references about cool shirts and shoes Saturday night, but the most vivid pictures from the party are the deep thoughts about various cross sections in religions, and about how calm, secure partners can counteract the effects of the other person's varied neuroses. Angela has her hands full with my freakiness, but it was good to see that a lot of other people have similar burdens. So it was a party that doubled as group therapy.

Anyway, good party! And best of luck to Virginia.

Dallas Voice article

Happy Friday!

Click on this blog title if you like to read a column I wrote for the Dallas Voice about Scientology and homosexuality. It appears in today's edition if you'd like to pick up a hard copy.

The whole experience was highly enlightening and I'm looking forward to more special projects like it that might be just as intellectually stimulating. :-) I'm interested in your thoughts.

Miss Austin sounds funny. Perhaps I'll stick to Jen.

I started teaching last night at Connecticut School of Broadcasting. When I tell people about that opportunity they always assume that requires a drive to Connecticut, but actually the school is expanding and opening a campus in Irving so the commute isn't all that bad. It was a hoot! I'm not actually teaching yet, but we had an open house last night to introduce potential students to the instructors and to make them audition for a spot in the class. I would be nervous if I were these students -- having to audition by recording a radio spot and then anchoring a short TV newscast with the lights on and teleprompter rolling. I never had to be tested like that. The U. of Nebraska just told me to come on with it. But they did great and I think I'm going to enjoy working with them.

I love the feeling I get when I'm actually doing something that at least remotely lines up with my passion and ability. We've all been there, doing something that forces us to use about ten bricks shy of a full load, and using the whole load feels much better. There might be a better way to say that, but you get my drift. Teaching isn't the ultimate for me, but it's a good start.

A room without a view

I spent the entire afternoon in the garage. That might have been a nice workout if I had been cleaning like Angela-the-mad-garage-organizer, but I was on the laptop the whole time. It was garage insanity.

Angela had the day off work and she needed to finish organizing the garage and I had to finish revising a newspaper article, so in order to spend quality time together we had to drag the laptop, a kitchen chair, and a TV tray into the garage and prop me up in the middle of the sawhorses and drills. It was a little chilly, but kinda fun and we both accomplished what we needed to accomplish.

For anyone with writer's block, I highly recommend the change of scenery. The next time I'm having trouble thinking of a creative way to get a point across I think I'll back the vehicles out and just sit among the hammers and beer coolers for awhile. The dead crickets were especially inspirational. The newspaper article is scheduled to run in a few days, and I guess we'll know at that point whether or not I should go back to the kitchen table.

Super Bowl and garage talk

I was forced to wear the Steelers helmet after the game last night, and putting it on one last time helped me come to grips with the fact that it is never going to fit over my enormous forehead and the facemask is always going to stick out at a forty five degree angle. My head has grown a lot since third grade, and since it probably won't shrink any time soon the helmet will just have to go back to its shelf in the game room until it can be used for a laugh at my expense again. If it fit properly I might wear it to work once in awhile.

One of the guys at our Super Bowl party had money on the Steelers, and as soon as he found out I wanted the Seahawks to win he started funneling his trash talk toward me with such intensity that at one point his wife told him to take it easy on me and to be nice since we were the gracious hosts. It was sweet that she tried to protect me, but that did nothing to stop the trash talkin' flow, and besides, it was kinda fun to dish it right back. My only mistake was putting too much stake in the Seahawks ability to rally in the second half, and offering to wear the helmet if the Steelers won. Oh well. At least he got a couple of laughs and a few good pictures out of it. He offered to have a picture blown up so we can hang it on the wall in the gameroom next to Peyton Manning and Brett Favre, but somehow I think that might detract from their beauty and greatness. The photo would be much better off hidden away in his camera phone.

Transition...

Angela has today and tomorrow off, so we went to Lowes after I got home from work and purchased things to organize the garage. She's banging away out there right now and she couldn't be happier. She started grinning and doing that excited "Hmm!" while we were in the workbench section of Lowes and she hasn't stopped since, which makes me question her sanity a bit, but also makes me feel proud and inspired. It's the simple things... I really should be out there helping, but I'm usually only allowed to assist by holding up one end of a shelf or handing her a nail when she needs it so perhaps I'm better off blogging. She's in charge of household organization and manual labor. The only area I'm in charge of is the kitchen, and that has already been tidied up and all evidence of the Super Bowl party removed so my duty is done. Oh, I guess I'm in charge of dead mice too. Angela uncovered one a little while ago as she was moving a storage cabinet and I was the one with the intestinal fortitude to remove it. It made me feel useful, so perhaps I should try to dig up and remove a few more. I could always wear the Steelers helmet for protection...

Super Bowl food is the greatest

Oh how I wish the Colts were playing in the Super Bowl this weekend! Ah, well. The Steelers deserve to be there. Despite this silly Steeler's helmet that I've had since 3rd grade, I hope the Seahawks win.

We're having a bunch of Angela's co-workers over to the house, so this weekend is all about choppin', dicin', bakin', and cleanin'. Angela is off work today through Tuesday. Yay! So we get to putter and cook together and have quality time all weekend. To get further off the subject, a friend bought us NBAopoly and we're going to play that lots. It's like Monopoly only you get to own the Mavs and Lakers instead of Park Place and Broadway, and instead of going to jail you get sent to the bench. It's a hoot. We've only played once so far and Angela smoked me so badly that I got frustrated and quit with about six dollars left, while she had twenty-five hundred dollars and championship trophies on most of her properties. I must get revenge.

Anyway, we LOVE munchie food. Lots of munching greatness on the Super Bowl menu...spinach artichoke dip in a footbball-shaped crock pot, chips and salsa, proscuitto and parmesan pinwheels, spicey honey wings, bbq muffin cups which sound gross but aren't, cheese and crackers, and Monte Kristie's that we named after the girl who made them for us the first time. It's King's Hawaiian sweet rolls, ham, and swiss cheese with a mustard/poppy seed/butter/worchestershire sauce drizzled on top and then you bake 'em until the tops get crispy. They're amazing and terrible for you I'm sure, which makes them perfect to add to the pile of crap that we're already going to eat.

We thought about having a veggie tray, but our after party-vision included a huge mound of leftover carrots and celery that were only three carrots and two celeries short of where they started, so we decided to ax that idea and put that six bucks toward more carbs. Like Peanut M&M's. We bought a huge bag and tediously separated them by color, so now we have green and blue M&M's in one football-shaped dish and predominantly yellow ones with a few carefully placed blue and red ones in the other football-shaped dish. If we eat all the green and blue ones first the Seahawks will win I say. It has all been carefully planned.