I'm becoming a big pile of mush

My sister is moving back to Nebraska. She's about two and a half years younger than me and she moved to Austin a few years ago when Angela and I lived there because she needed a change of scenery from the Midwest, so she got an apartment a few miles from our house. Then she moved to Dallas with us when I got the job with Kidd because she didn't have anything tying her down in Austin. She had a job as a cosmetologist, but she could cut hair in Dallas just as easily, and she didn't have a boyfriend or kids to make her stay put. But now she's a single mom with two little girls and a hundred things to think about regarding their welfare, and she decided it would be best to be in the Midwest near our parents. I'm going to miss them all like crazy. That's me with Jada in the picture. She'll be two next week, and Ciara is almost six months old. They are too cool.

Jada has completely broken me. I've never really been maternal--in fact sort of awkward in situations where I'm supposed to be nurturing and motherly--but when Jada is around I find myself talking in the high-pitched fun voice, enjoying having crayons shoved in my pockets, and passing out hugs and kisses like I've completely lost my mind. I guess I have lost the part of my mind that always told me I hated kids. I don't really. Well, the loud ones that run around in Target and kick up their heels, peel around the corner, and almost knock me into a rack of bras still bug me, but I don't hold that against all children anymore. I've become "Aunt Nenny," and the soft spot that Jada has created keeps me from throwing lingerie at the little snots now when I encounter them on a routine shopping trip. I bet Jada would protect me from anyone who knocked me into lingerie anyway, or at least do the hokey pokey in the aisle until they got bored and left. She does seem to be a peacemaker. I love that about her. Ciara makes me all mushy inside too, but Jada has had a head start, and since she was the first to break me she has dibs in this blog. They're both pretty little gals. Maybe I'm just jealous of the actual color in their skin. I'm pretty much pigmentless.

Angela and I have talked about having kids someday, but I don't know that we will. We go back and forth between "Yes, that would be the most fulfilling thing we could ever do--we have so much love to give," and "No, that would totally interfere with our ability to play golf all day and then jet off to a Rangers game." Who knows. Angela would be the perfect parent, but I have a lot of self-sacrifice yet to learn and I fear that I would fail miserably. Perhaps we're just not ready yet. Hmm. I guess time will tell. Maybe we'll wait and see how awesome Jada is when she's 13...